October 2, 2018
It’s Tinder Tuesday! Today’s blog is about Saturday’s date at Hakkasan you saw on Instagram. This date goes to show you the power of having faith and an attitude of expectancy on a date vs the “what if?” attitude.
Coffee dates are as basic as pumpkin spice lattes with yoga pants and early 2000’s uggs. If you go into the date with skepticism about being “catfished” or getting a crazy– that’s what you are going to get. You spend money gambling on Fantasy Football, going to Vegas, or indulging in extreme sports why can’t you bring that same sense of adventure or risk on a date?! If you cannot afford a dinner on someone who you don’t hit it off with, you shouldn’t be dating. People are people, they shouldn’t have to prove themselves.
He is an older man. We got a lot of stares. I’ve gotten stares on dates before but this was different. I have dated a few older men before where people probably thought he was my sugar daddy, but this dude rolled out the red carpet better than anyone else. OK, maybe he’s competing with Prince now for best first impression.
I am not sure how old Mr. Dior 999 is because his age was hidden in his profile. I am not the best at math, but when he was giving me the run down of his life and told me his age, the numbers did not add up. Anyway, he took charge of planning the date through the app and said he would be taking me to dinner at Hakkasan Saturday night. Now, I was really excited because a former Tinder date asked me to this place, but could not get reservations with two weeks lead time, so we went somewhere else. From the Google search, the restaurant looked like a great place with a romantic ambiance. The guy executed chivalry, asking if I wanted to have him pick me up or meet him there and confirmed the date two days before- this is something few men do. If you don’t confirm- I won’t show up. Women put a lot of time and effort when preparing for a date. Men should match that effort.
I hate being late. He said that he would be there super early because he didn’t want me to wait around for him. Good! I hate waiting for men. Unfortunately, my Lyft driver took longer than expected to get to my house and she told me she did not have a FastTrack pass to get over the bridge nor cash for the tolls. Ugh, Seriously??! I was so frustrated because this guy already showed me a lot of effort. I messaged him and he said no worries, just get here safe and told me what table number he was sitting at.
When I finally got to the restaurant and the host escorted me to his table, he stood up to greet me with a big smile. “You look like your pictures,” he said. He handed me a small Sephora bag. “I got you this gift”. “Can I open it now?”, I asked. Yes. I unwrapped the small item enveloped in tissue paper to find a tube of bright red lipstick- Dior Ultra Rouge 999. He said that he went to Sephora and showed the lady my Tinder pictures and asked me what lipstick would look good on me. Wow, I thought. That was a lot of effort for a first date! The sentiment was very sweet. He did not know that my birthday was just a few weeks before and I had made a resolution to wear more bright lipstick because I am not a lipstick or makeup person, but I need to get outside of my comfort zone. I noticed he likes the color red because he had a single fingernail painted red for abuse awareness.
He included the receipt for the lipstick in the bag and told me that I could return it if I did not like it. I do not like to return gifts. But when I tried it on when I got home I was a little uncomfortable with the loudness. I realized I ditched the receipt with the bag at the restaurant. I googled Sephora to see if they could exchange without a receipt. I saw that this was no cheap tube of lipstick! It was much more than I would ever pay. I’ll keep it. I thought about how he contrasted to male friends I talk to and the Tinder dates that I have gone out with who say they like to stick with coffee or drinks because a girl might be crazy, she may not look like her pictures, or they might not hit it off. They rather not spend money on something or someone until they prove they are worth more than a Chilli’s 2 for $22.
I’ve always thought that was a sign of a bad attitude and a lack of faith. I’ve you’re going on a date with a suspicion, you’re going to attract shady people. Yes, people lie, people post old pictures, but do you really want to put that on EVERY potential first date. This guy did not know for sure if I was the girl in the pictures or if I was crazy or boring, but he had faith that I was. And if I was indeed the girl in the pictures, how may I want to be treated?
We had a great conversation. He was a cool guy. He was in the finance world and cared a lot about helping people. He helped fundraise hundreds of thousands of dollars for nonprofits. He was obviously divorced at his age and became a single father after his marriage. He told me I was the first date he had in a long time. He told me he showed my pictures to his friends and family before we went out. I do not know how many courses we had, but the food was delicious! He enjoyed serving my plate. He said he had been to the restaurant many times before alone so it was good to have someone else with him. He asked me if he could introduce me as his date. “Yes, well, I AM your date”, I responded. I wondered if he asked me that because of the stares we got or that he thought I might be ashamed to be with him. If I were ashamed, I would not be on a date with him.
When we left the restaurant, he greeted the bartender and the manager and introduced me as his date. The manager kinda looked me up and down, Haha! Prolly wondering ‘what in the world?’ He thanked them for getting him a table. “Ah, that’s how he managed to get us into this place with less than a week notice! He knows people” I thought.
We went for cocktails afterward at a speakeasy. That’s when the stares really came in. It was kinda funny because people would look and when I made eye contact with them, they would quickly look away to act like they weren’t staring. Haha! I think he liked the attention. I have gone on some dates with older men and it seems they do. Do you know that guy that was on Botched with the big fake lips?
I remember him saying that he loved going in public and having people whisper about him or audibly express their disgust for his plastic surgery. He loved the attention- even if it was negative. I wonder if it’s something like that. I realized that I too may like the attention. Albeit, it was only one date so I am sure it gets tiring after a while, but I had a good time nonetheless and he was a gentleman.
I learned that he grew up in the Bay Area and resented being categorized as “white” when he grew up with mostly Mexican and African American children. He rejected the “Model Minority” stereotype and thought it unfortunate that the Crazy Rich Asians image was being pushed more than the more common Asian American experience like that in the Midwest.
I would definitely go out with him again. He asked me out for next weekend.