What Do Your Matches Say About Your Tinder Profile? How to make a Tinder profile that sets you apart from the crowd

September 27, 2018

It’s still #thirstythursday here in California and it’s that time of year where Tinder is on and poppin’! I change my photos regularly, but haven’t changed my Tinder bio in 3 years! Matches have broken the ice by telling me that my bio makes me unlike the other girls they swipe through. In one day, I had 3 men give me the feedback I have gotten over the years. Have you thought about how people who swipe view your pictures and your”about me” blurb?

This Tinder match got my vibe and that I liked to travel.

This tinder match got my cool vibe. It’s amazing what they can tell from your photos

Don’t be afraid to show your sense of humor. Some men do this poorly with obscure movie quotes that make them seem like an ax murderer. I made a joke about my competition’s profiles and my dating rules so I don’t come off as stuffy.

I made this tinder match laugh at my bio. I sometimes make myself laugh reading my profile!

Men WILL read what you put on there. It was evident that this man was impressed by me putting down my standards

Men do read your profile to see if they would be a good match! This man was glad I knew what I was looking for

Do NOT believe the myth that no one reads profiles on Tinder! What these screenshots tell you is that men absolutely do read your bio and it is a tool to intrigue them. It gets them interested in contacting you to potentially set up a date beyond the initial physical attraction they see in your photos. As a woman, I tend to swipe left if a guy is too secretive or has no bio. Even if he’s hot! It gives me the impression that he’s a catfish or is either ashamed of what he does or has something to hide. Men tell me my profile is hilarious, it’s unique, and that I seem interesting. Does your Tinder Profile set you apart from the crowd?  I would like to help you think about what vibe you are giving off.

Making a bio is not that difficult if you know who you are and why you are on Tinder. How do friends describe you? Why are you logging in and spending time swiping? My bio is short, sweet and to the point. I believe the character limit is 500 and I have 98 characters remaining.

1. I mention my personality type and:

2. What I will and will not stand for

3. A joke to brighten up my rules- one of which is that I DO NOT give my phone number until after I meet in person. I don’t like randoms to have my number out there. Yes, I could get a Google voice number, but that’s not the point. I am not here for time wasters. Some men argue with me on the phone number deal, but I said it upfront so they have the option to swipe left. If you can’t handle that simple rule, you don’t respect boundaries. That’s a big red flag.

Even when I clearly state my rule that I don’t give my number out until after the first date, some men still argue with me on it. I chuck the deuces. Like, do they think there is some shortage of men on Tinder? Why waste time matching if you want to argue with their established rule

4. Mention my optimistic attitude about my dating experiences.

5. I end with stating the most important quality I am looking for in a man.

Most Importantly are the photos:

I am not going to share my photos because of reverse search LOL! But, I will say that men have told me they like the way I dress in my photos, they can tell I am shy (HOW DO YOU SEE THAT IN A PHOTO I HAVE NO IDEA!) yet despite my shyness, I have a wild streak.  I think they can tell that from my mischevious smile. If you look at Princess Diana, she has a similar smile. Did you know that the press gave her the nickname “Shy Di”? Despite her appearing shy, it looked like she was keeping a secret. I went to Kensington Palace this summer and the Diana exhibit stated that she appeared shy in public, but her friends said that privately she was the life of the party.

This was this match’s first message to me! It was back in July. I read it but forgot to respond to him. Oops! Don’t share everything. Be mysterious and intriguing. Be unlike the others.

How to choose a photo for your Tinder Profile:

Think of your pics as the primary way to leave the first impression. Tinder is a superficial app. You are being judged on your appearance, however, it is true that a picture can say a thousand words. I can’t tell you how many people on and off of Tinder could nail my personality type by just seeing photos of me. Even landlords have asked for online photos of me to see my energy before interviewing me to rent (Yeah, I know. That’s discrimination). I am personally against photos with athletic and workout gear unless you are an athlete and/or working out is an important part of who you are. I swipe left at men who wear Jerseys. It’s too casual and bro-ey for me. No, I do not want to tailgate a Raider’s game with you. Gross. You should have at least one picture where you are dressed up like you are going for a night on the town. Show your prospect that you clean-up nicely. If you are just looking for someone to watch Grey’s Anatomy then fine, post a pic of you in loungewear and yoga pants with a messy bun. Someone may like that. Otherwise:

  1. Use an updated photo or upload photos regularly. It is unfair to use old photos from your younger, thinner days to catfish your date. None of my current photos are more than a year old. Tinder now has a feature that shows all of your matches updated photos across their “timeline”. Those matches who went ghost get those updated photos and re-materialize.

    A man who I never heard from after we chatted a little on the app in 2016 all of a sudden reappeared when he saw a picture of me in a pink dress on his feed in 2018

2. Smile. Show your teeth in at least 1 picture. Not every guy wants a shy, mischevious girl like me. Smiling make you seem pleasant to be around, and it makes you seem like an open, honest person with nothing to hide. This goes for men too. Avoid posting serious-looking photos that look like they could be used by the news should you get into trouble.

3. Have at least one full body shot. Both men and women are suspect that you are larger than you may appear if you only upload headshots. Besides, you want a person who loves you for the size you are now, right? Filter out the jerks who don’t want a “large-and-in-charge” mate before you waste your time communicating with them.

4. DO NOT post group photos where your match may think your friend is cuter than you are or may be confused which one in the group you are. I am not sure why people do this. OK, I get it, you may want people to think you are popular with many friends so they want to join the fun. Yet, there are some major jerks who may match with you just to get your friend’s number. You also run the risk that upon meeting, your date realizes you are the other person in the photos. That happened to me one date. I confused a guy for his friend in the photos.

5. Explain whether the child in the photos is your child or not. Don’t leave people guessing whether you have kids. Children may be a dealbreaker for some folks, while others are looking or open to have a blended family. I have been on a few dates with guys who mentioned nothing about having a child in their bio and they certainly did not have a photo. I can understand omitting a photo, but fail to see why a man would keep that hidden in the conversation leading up to the first date.

What Grimes & Elon Musk should have learned from the Clinton-Lewinsky Scandal

The potential downfall of one of the most powerful and popular men of our time was completely preventable

I am frustrated by the Grimes-Musk-Banks scandal where Musk’s personal poor decisions may lead to his removal from his position and being under investigation by authorities. All three parties lacked common sense. I am even more disappointed in my generation of women who failed to learn a big lesson during our youth in the Bill and Monica Lewinsky scandal.

I once heard the phrase “let someone else pay your stupid taxes”. It’s short for “learn from someone else’s mistakes”. Although Azelia Banks broke the girl code for publically posting text private messages between her and Grimes, Grimes failed to act within proper social decorum and text Banks about the size of Elon Musk’s private parts, his alleged illegal activity, and him posing with a fake South African accent. In a world where text messages can be forwarded and screenshots can be posted for a global audience on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, it boggles my mind why Grimes would text a fellow public figure- who has a reputation for Twitter feuds-this information.

When dating a public figure (or anyone for that matter), one needs to act with discretion. There should be no sharing of information via text or other media about private parts or private matters- not even to your close girlfriends. This was Monica Lewinsky’s mistake. Now, remember, Lewinsky never blabbed to the public about her affair with Bill. She kept in on the down-low, confiding in who she thought was her close friend, Linda Tripp. Tripp, unbeknownst to Monica, was secretly recording their conversations and even convinced Monica not to get that infamous blue dress dry cleaned. That was the only physical evidence of the affair. It lead to disaster for Monica’s life and criminal impeachment proceedings for the then-President Bill Clinton. Monica was only 23 at the time and was not hip to the saying many African-American mothers tell their children “not everyone is your friend”. She also lived at a time where voice recording was the only threat to one’s personal security. Yet, she was a victim to the relatively new internet cyberbullying.

I believe Lewinsky gossiping about her affair with Bill was out of naivete asking an older woman for advice. However, I am trying to grasp the motivation Grimes had in telling Banks that Elon Musk- one of the richest, powerful and most popular men at this time has a ‘giant member’. It is beyond classless… and foolish. Let’s say Banks did not post the screenshot, but kept that information to herself. Do you think that it would not raise her eyebrow and make Musk more desirable in her eyes? Ha, I can hear the uniform eyebrow raise and lip-licking of women across the world who are now on the prowl-plotting their way to Musk’s path as juicy prey. Grimes, 30, is too old to be this foolish.

Some of the responsibility falls on Musk. Rich and powerful people are people and they make mistakes like everyone else. They also have to be accountable for those mistakes like the rest of us. Many people shook their heads at the odd coupling and I am sure he had friends ask him what are you doing?! Yes, Musk is eccentric, but it was pretty obvious that something was off. From Grime’s texts, she had/has absolutely no respect for him. She’s trying to get pregnant (while on drugs). Musk formerly dated Amber Heard- the girl who got Johhny Depp in trouble (Side: Amber secretly recorded Depp and published photoshopped private text messages). So he has a history of poor decisions in picking women. *SMH, these men*

I do not have any investments in Tesla or any of his companies so take my opinion with a grain of salt, but I totally understand why investors would be concerned about his leadership ability. He may be on drugs, and he is involved with a woman who shares extremely sensitive information who got him on drugs. I would not want him making company decisions.

Let this scandal be a lesson to women. As they say on the street “Be careful who you share your hoeing with” (‘hoeing’ may not be literal whoring, but may mean dirty secrets or socially unacceptable behavior. I also don’t see the term as negative so do not interpret my view as slut-shaming).

Let it also be a lesson to these tech dudes: Be a better picker! Fun and crazy women may be fun for a time, but is it worth prison or millions of dollars in losses. Consider getting a matchmaker if you honestly have no emotional intelligence or common sense to tell the difference between a woman who respects you or wants to use you.