Christmas time in 2015 I had a good rotation of men. One day after another.
One of the great things about Tinder dating is that you get to hear the interesting life stories of men you probably would not encounter. Tinder was the first time I went on dates with African-American men or men in the Diaspora. (Well, there was one time I met a biracial lawyer guy in Ohio on eHarmony like 5 years before. He told a lot of corny jokes that only he laughed at) This was a new experience for me. Prince was the first black man I dated. I still catch flack from some men for having not dated many black men. How much is enough?
2015 racial tensions were high. The Black Lives Matter movement was emerging as a force that could not be dismissed by the mainstream media. There are not many black people in San Diego. It is a border town that despite it’s proximity to Mexico and having a significant Mexican-descendant population, has the reputation of being pretty white. Given this setting, it was interesting to have a date with a Black officer between my dates with Prince to see what life was like for him at the time.
December 15, 2015- San Diego
The Humans of Tinder: last night I went to a comedy show where you can bring your own booze with the romantic date dude. I’ll call him Hakeem, the Prince of Zamunda because he is certainly looking for a queen. He said he was looking for a wife. The show was much more
Today I had a lunch date with a guy who is a counselor at a prison.
He chose his favorite Vietnamese place for us to eat pho. He’s originally from Brooklyn and his uncle choreographed the Lindy-hop scene in the Spike Lee film. He’s a fan of black cinema. He told me he was shocked to see how some of his colleagues react to the Black Lives Matter movement. Even said to see them make hurtful comments on social media. He said that when he moved into his apartment people looked at him with a side-eye and he would catch them staring at him with looks of suspicion. He is this big tall black guy who did not look in place in his neighborhood. However, all that changed the day he accidentally forgot to take off his lanyard from work before coming home. “Your lanyard?”, I asked. Yes, it looks like a police officer badge and it says I work at a corrections facility, he replied. “Ever since then, people have been smiling and waving at me when they see me”, he added.
We talked about everything from the Apollo theater to how he doesn’t go to church anymore. He said he felt like people were not genuine to what was being preached. No one at his elderly mom’s church offers to give her a ride to service. He gave her his nice Letterman jacket for donations to the poor, but the deacon took it for himself. I would be very disappointed and hurt about that if I were him too.
The officer texted me a few times after that saying that he was expecting me to hit him up. I don’t do that because I personally believe in a guy pursuing a girl. I like to give time to men who show they are interested in me. Prince did that. He was constantly communicating with me. I have noticed even on a first tinder date guys say they go on what they think are good dates, but they never heard from the girl afterward. It’s like both parties are waiting for the other to make a move. Men would probably get better results if they were the ones to take the initiative. Anyway, I told the officer that he had not heard from me because I started dating someone.